Leave Startup Without Killing It or Breaking Hearts?

Just went through this. After a year my partner wanted out. But I knew well before he told me because he had been MIA for months. It was actually a relief to finally get it on the table and be able to make a plan to move on because I had felt stuck in his lack of action. Best thing to do is to recruit quickly and make a thoughtful, planned transition. He gave me three months to make the transition. It would be responsible of you to do something similar. Founder transitions often kill the company but lack of action when things aren't working is a sure killer too. Now that I look back on it, his leaving was actually a great thing. I have renewed energy and things are moving forward again.

I witnessed total lack of "we-on-same-page" between 2 founders and I positively knew one was hanging out there just for IPO.

BUT that might never happened as the other co-founder was a total nut.

Trust me, employees did sensed it all, and they would be just fine after your sudden escapade.

You can always say, I want to spend more time with my family. :-)

Honest communication is key. You're in a position where you can really hurt the startup (and everybody knows this), so try to emphasize with the other side and try to part ways amicably.

It doesn't matter much how exactly you bring the news, there is no "trick" to make it go smoothly. So be honest, express how you feel, make clear that you don't think the situation can be salvaged from your end, emphasize that you still care about your cofounders and are willing to do what it takes to ensure a smooth transition, because you at least owe them that.

What do you do with equity in this situation ?

I just went through this. You have to do it and move quickly to find a safe place for yourself or you will really do damage to yourself.

Review your legal docs first. Once you know what they state clearly then go and be honest with your cofounders. Once the conversation is had anything can happen at that point (they try to push you out the door without compensation, etc). I've been there, went through nasty lawsuit with cofounder and in the end I was the one that retained the startup even though I felt like I wanted out.

Leave but have a discussion. Don't be a wimp and run from discussion. It's better for both of you and the idea of you are honest. Too many people run and don't have the talk or stay without doing the work. Be honest with him and yourself.