Depressed, anxious, frustrated. Am I the one feeling this way? Need help.

There's no shame in getting a job to support your family.

Get a part-time job and tell your wife. If she's a good wife, she will understand. If she's a bad wife, then you'll have less to worry about.

Transition yourself slowly back into work, but tell her so you don't feel so alone.

If your company still has promise, it will be ok as you work part-time on it.

Sounds like your business didn't find product-market fit and now you're in a situation where you're not really sure where to go with the business to rescue it. Grasping at straws will only cost you more time and delay the inevitable. You need to be extremely honest with yourself at this point and ask yourself how confident you are in your path forward with the company. If you don't have a great deal of conviction in a direction at this point (and the willingness to rapidly test out that direction and pack it in if it fails) then I'd highly suggest thinking about winding things down. Hanging onto company out of the fear of shame from a failed startup is a terrible idea. Will it hurt? Definitely. But leaving your company on life support and letting it die a slow death hurts more.

Be honest with yourself and align your actions with your broader responsibilities. Your spouse has dreams as well and it's not fair to her that if yours aren't working out hers have to be dashed too. Step up.

Hug your wife as much as you want - thats always free and helps more than anything.

I am at the exact same situation as you (without the baby boy) it's a big struggle and it feels like no one would know how much you are struggling. Hearing I'm not the only one is really helpful. I still have no idea what I will do. But at least I'm not alone. Thanks

You have a dream. You have a vision. Never give up. Try to do things differently, to be successful. Find YOUR way to do things. The passion you have, can nobody understand and copy.

Be creativ and find new ways to do things. You need money? Then try to find new ways to get money. Prototyping, testing with people, getting feedback and modify your product or vision. Approx 2-3 month, if the feedback is not as expected, work on something different. Holding on something that nobody wants is frustrating.

Cashflow is important. Your family should be first (only my opinion). They give you a lot of power and emotions. Be thankful for this. Every day.

"To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did".

Find your way and you will be successful. And when you are happy, then all other people can be too.

Free your mind with problems, money, securitys, success issues. Do what you like to do. Follow your heart and inspiration and let the creativity out.

I believe in you, not because I know you, but because you are searching answers. And someone who is doing this step in life, will also do big steps in business.

Have fun!

It all depends why you're in this game. Only you know the answer to that.

Why not do both? Get a job if you have to, but leave the site up and running and work on it part-time (DigitalOcean or Linode is $20/mo or less). Lots of "hobby sites" can still make enough cash in the long run to be well worth it.

I'm in same boat. Fear does nothing but make every step of any path more terrifying than reality. Like walking through a haunted house. Turn the lights on, its still just a house. Will take you two seconds to walk through it. Just get up. Make moves. Get up and go for walks. Go find a job. Tell everyone you just had a baby and need extra stability for a year. No one will ever look down on that.

The income & new gig will probably refresh your perspective about your startup. Do the startup after hours. If things pick up, go back to full-time. Do it quickly. Dont worry. Most of one's contacts are 'employees' and probably admire that you did something many of them wish they had the courage to do. When you start to think what this person will think. Stop yourself. Write down an accomplishment or two and change your focus. Move forward.

Everyone respects progress in whatever form it takes.

OP here - overwhelmed with the support. Thank you all. I've found that everyone in this game (unless they have a high MRR) puts on a fake face. I'm really struggling but nice to know I'm not the only one.

Do people feel this forum (as awesome as it is) should be replicated somehow or a new group maybe Facebook private group be setup for people having a hard time?

Successful conversations are great, but feel there needs to be a forum for those who are really doing it tough.

Thanks,

J

Don't worry. I have days where I am on cloud 9 and think I am the richest man in the world and can have anything I want. Then there are those days when If I only had a bullet it would all be over. Life as an entrepreneur. Sounds like you have the stomach for it. Just need to find some customers who want what you are selling. Time for a pivot.

Regarding the "putting on a fake face" -- you're not kidding. Most are just living the high life on easy VC dollars. Don't get me wrong, it's fun, but it gives you the false impression that you are succeeding. When the economy pulls back and tough times come (always does), then many of these companies fold up and go home. It's unfortunate, but part of the "American Capitalism" at work to build an industry (same happened in Electricity, Radio, Rail, Automotive, etc).

So don't let all those stories, money and parties influence your view of "success". Keep focusing on your vision and effort, even it means "going hobby" or "lifestyle" business" -- you just need enough to survive and keep your passion alive.

I've been in the iOS app dev game since 2009 working from home. My gf goes to work every day and I barely see or talk to any human being. It is deeply depressing not to have any social contact for the most time of my life. She works on weekends too. I don't leave my apartment for weeks in a row. Working from home slowly kills my body and soul.

I miss the days where I was an employee. Not for the part of being an employee. I hated it. But for the part of seeing and talking to other people every day. And for the part of going outside every day. My apps are not successful. Barely paying the rent. I look at a glowing rectangle. Watch videos of nature. Of people. Real life became a virtual reality. I live in the Matrix. Except it is not interactive.

When app sales are okay, I feel okay. When they are bad, I feel suicidal.

Recently I discovered meetup dot com. It holds the promise to meet new people. In my case I am out of luck. No meetups in my ghetto. If you are lucky to live in a vivid city, you may have more luck.

If your business cant support you, it is easy. Stop it. Get a job. But if it is still dripping enough money that you can't just shut it down, it is hard to escape your final destination. The truth is, if it doesn't take off now, it will not take off tomorrow either. It will stay like this.

You can do two things in this situation:

You can keep doing what you do every day. And nothing will change. Guaranteed.

Or you can pause, reflect on everything for a week. Then radically change something about your business.

Most entrepreneurs I hear of (of course, on the internet, not in person), struggle a lot because they have no product-market-fit and don't bother with marketing.

I just learned why my business is performing so bad. But it didn't happen over night. I began reading books on marketing. Began taking a closer look at the evil competition. What they are doing different then me. Now, I have a plan, and I'm trying to implement many radical changes. It helps me get up in the morning. It helps on days where sales are terrible. Because I feel I understand why that is.

Until this point, bad sales felt as if the world was punishing me, personally. Truth is people don't care. Either your offering and marketing is good, or it is not.

I keep running in the hamster wheel because I dream of making it. And then moving out of the ghetto, and open an office and work with like minded people.

It is okay to get a job. It is just a different way of making money. I envy happy employees that go on holiday many times a year and hang out with colleagues during the day. I dream of walking along a street and stopping at Starbucks in the morning to get my coffee before entering the office.

Good luck my fellow entrepreneurs!

If the startup isn't paying your bills, find a paid job (FT or PT). If it is paying your bills, you need to train yourself to look beyond the business and back into your home life and appreciate what is there. Discipline yourself to not check emails, not work during dinner with the family, bath time with your kid, take weekends off, find a hobby that makes you move your body like Yoga, etc. This founder gig is extremely hard and lonely, but as we all know the main this is dedication and discipline. If you have that, you can pull out of your current state too.

~ I'm a single, stay at home dad who also runs a profitable startup alone. It's hard.